This son of a bitch is Richard Cash, an entrepreneur with more cash than Oprah and the Pope combined. He walks around the Village with his smug smile and gold plated everything and assumes that his wealth has elevated himself to an untouchable level of perfection. While the rest of the struggling creep residents work tirelessly to make ends meet, this money grubbing bastard slides by on fat pockets alone. Not to mention, he has one of the cutest girlfriends ever spotted by Creep eyes. eventually this son-bitch will get what’s coming to him in either heartbreak or poverty but I assume his nose will be too high in the air to notice what he’s lost.
You can now buy new fancy prints of your favorite Creeps online! Starting at only $10 bucks! don’t be a fool, be a creep!!!
Well this old, fuzzy, spider-bear is Johnny CheeseCrabber and he’s a master of many amazing talents. He’s the kinda creep that’l catch a fish faster, play a bass better, fix your computer easier than anybody else all while smilin' and driving a speedboat! He's a mighty skilled monster on land or sea and today just happens to be his birthday! Well happy birthday to you ol' Johnny CheeseCrabber, you son of a gun!
This incredibly attractive specimen is Fannie Chrisman, the Carnie Chicken. Not only has this wild beast won every chicken-beauty queen award in the last four years, she’s well known for beating every other carny at any game they present her, rigged or not. She’s had a few rough patches in her life but, for the most part, this chicken is a golden goose. One might say she’s blessed but the truth is, good things come to good chickens. And I know what you’re thinking, this beauty looks like a ruggedly tough, powerfully confident, rooster but, in reality, she’s just got so much going for her that she’s developed a confidence that could win over anyone. This, my friends, is one amazing chick.
I recently had lunch at ‘Bistro Creep’, a filthy little restaurant with some very interesting items on their menu. I enjoyed the Fart Smoked Salmon, a cigarette shrimp cocktail and a cockroach shish kabob for desert (I was starving). Anyway, the service was terrible as to be expected and the ambiance left a lot to be desired but all in all, I enjoyed my experience. Luckily when I arrived someone had decided to take on the Hush Puppy, Duffel Bag Challenge which consisted of 72 punds of deep fried dough, served in a duffel bag and is supposed to be consumed in 10 minutes to win. Well the competitor got through about 45 pounds before giving up at the eight minute mark but needless to say I was impressed. He later died that evening… Anyway, for cheap eats at stupid hours (I got there at 3pm) you can’t really beat the Bistro Creep in the Village. If you decide to tip your waiter well they may bring you an insulin shot after consumption but, Im pretty sure the needles have been used since the place opened so you may want to just take your chances. All in all, for Village food, I give it an eight out of ten.
This amazing specimen of musical genius is Walt, the Gator-Boy. He is light years beyond what you’d consider a lounge lizard in quality of work and he’s known by almost every resident as the man-around-town for making musical excellence. Gifted with strong, bulky fingers, he can play any piano-esque instrument with ease and grace and get even the most weathered, broken-hipped granny dancing on a table. He’s amazing in oh so many ways.
This mechanized monstrosity is the Fox-Bot. Designed to roam the forest outside the village creep finding sweet little foxes who’ve been abandoned and keep watch over their wellbeing. foxes roam wild amidst the forested creep borders and this beast is crucial to their well being and overall happiness.
One of the fastest and easiest ways to get around in the Village Creep is the the Dino Cab or Public T-Ransportation. This giant meandering beast does way more damage than public good but still, a LOT of residents use it on the regular. It’s been said that the annual damage toll for this ‘public service’ is roughly 18 million dollars in smashed cars, knocked over street lamps and even the occasional complete destruction of a building. The fair to ride this beast per passenger? 75 cents…
These two crazy mofo’s are willy and doug also known as the dreaded Medoza Boys.They’re two badass biker-gangsters with a bone to pick with just about everyone. When you think of ill-willed bikers, you’re first thought usually goes to these two punks. They’re main source of income is primarily extortion but, they’re known to steal, deal drugs and even kill if need be. You want them on your good side, believe me, so the best thing to do is abide by their rules and take your losses. That being said, these dudes are total tools and I’m pretty sure they’re under the control of our good friend, Nick Noss.
This son’ bitch is Nest Face, the creakiest creature in the village creep. He’s entirely composed of old tree limbs and he’s harbored almost every species of bird, lizard an insect in the nooks and crannies of his being. You’ll most likely find Nest Face in the woods, seeking out his replacement parts among the scattered foliage.
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Get Drawn into the Village Creep
Share,tweet or reblog this image and you’ll be entered to win a chance to be added to the Village Creep! The contest will star January 29th and end on February 9th. The future creep will be chosen at random and added to the village within a week. Add a comment of what you’d like to do in the village to let us here at the village know why you’d be useful. Good luck and happy sharing!!!
Wan’t Slugs? Well find Barbara! She’s a creep amongst creeps in every regard. Barbara owns a few acres of highly subtle village land where she uses fungi to attract her prey of choice; slugs. She milks them for medicinal purposes and sells their end trails to other young farmers. She’s a master of her trade but the constant expose to slug venom has made her brain a bit jicky
Oh man, this is Teddy, the armadillo wrangler for the Village Creep. He’s cool but, he’s kinda mysterious and quiet all the time. He has this falcon, I believe it’s name is Mushi, and he uses it to spot roaming armadillos from a distance. He’s easily the best armadillo catcher I’ve ever seen but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s kinda creepy.
THE VILLAGE CREEP _ FAMILY TREE PROJECT 1
In the Village Creep, it’s sometimes difficult to keep track of who’s related to whom. With this simple family tree, we’re able to filter through the genealogy of this lovely family’s lineage and discover where they acquire their unique features.
New Family Tree Project arriving in shops soon!